Mischievous Thoughts: November 2011

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Sleepless at Night...

Recently I've been sick and staying home. Something about laryngitis, or so I think? I sleep all the time, but for some reason I can't sleep tonight... I think I have some problems with low self-esteem. I don't know what to do, 'cause I just feel sad all the time. Do you know that feeling you get when you think that nobody loves you, and start feeling sorry for yourself and blames the whole world..? That's where I am now. I feel so disgusted with myself right now, but my eyes won't stay dry, and my heart is squeezing so tight that I almost can't breathe. It is so wierd, actually I'm not like this at all. Yeah, I can be sad sometimes, but usually I cheer up after a while. I'm so confused right now. Everything seems so hopeless right now, and this song "I'll protect you - Kim Jaejoong" doesn't make it better, in fact it just makes me cry even more, but maybe that's a good thing. A good thing to get it all out?
So the thing is... I've seen this korean drama, and it really maked me think about a lot of things. Like why I am so useless when everyone else is doing their best to achieve their dreams, while I'm goofing around and can't even clean properly after me. It maked me think about how many people struggles with a lot worse problems than those I have. I wish I could be brave and happy with what I've got, but I just feel so sad being where I am right now. I've asked myself countless of times, why life just can't be like in the drama's? I know it's not realistic but I would still hope that I can have a life that is sad, fun, dramatic, full of love and happiness, and Life. This life I'm living now is so lifeless, and it just makes me feel sick. I know life isn't supposed to be fun all the time, but I really think that I'm stuck in mud this time.
I miss how things were before, and I miss that I can't recognize myself anymore.
I wish I was like the character: Go Eun Chan.
She knew what to do with her life, and even though it didn't fit with her lovelife, the man of her life waited patiently for her to get home after two years. I envy her so much, but right now I don't have the strenght of going the same way as her... I'm so pathetic.
Give me some time........ I don't know what to write anymore?.. I'll finish with this: "Fighting!"

Monday, 7 November 2011

Coffee Prince

Watching: The 1st Shop of Coffee Prince :)
It's getting quite interesting!!

Mischievous Kiss

Recently I've seen this Korean drama called Mischievous Kiss... It was so good! 'cause it's been so long since I last saw a Korean drama. This feeling you aleays get when you watch it, maked me wonder why I stopped seeing them? But anyways I'm just happy to do what I want, even though, I'm sick right now...

Mischievous Kiss is based on the Japanese Manga: Itazura na Kiss, and is about: Love, School Life, Drama, and Comedy. I have never read the Manga, but maybe I should try it out? Anyways... I really love Kim Hyun Joong, and I was so excited to heat that he would play the male lead character!! The drama turned out te be very good to! Arghh I really love his smile!

These I just found on the internet.. Teehee

Pictures of gold

My mom :)

A park we found

It looks gold, doesn't it?

Raining with gold

Way to Heaven

Forest of gold

Burning leaves

Old Train Tracks

Me and my mom taking a wierd picture...

A nice little alley

There's something dangerous and pretty about this picture?

I really love autumn... Even though all the leaves are falling off the tree's, it still makes me happy the most.
It's only around here I really can relax and get down on earth.
I don't like Winter because it's all about Christmas.
I don't like Spring because it gets my hopes up for Love.
I don't like Summer because everyone have to show off all the time.
It's so AnNoYiNg!
But when it's Autumn, there's nobody who really cares about anything... Unfortunately it's almost Winter -.-